LSC: S2 MARRIAGE

After studying and practicing the activities in this chapter, you will be
able to:
(a understand the meaning and purpose of courtship and marriage
in the promotion of love and
honesty.
b) appreciate the purpose of marriage.
c) appreciate the importance of children in marriage and society.
d) understand the right time for pregnancy in order to be a good parent.
e )appreciate Christian teaching about marriage.
f)appreciate traditional African marriage and the values therein.

*civil
*companionship
*complementarity
*courtship
*honesty
*law
*love
*marriage
*social relations
*traditional
*values

Introduction
In the previous chapter, you studied about respect for human life and dignity. You also studied why humans were created both male and female. In this chapter, you are going to study the meaning and purpose of courtship and marriage. You will be guided to discover how marriage nurtures the values of love, honesty, respect, harmony, and generosity.

Purpose of courtship and marriage

Meaning and purpose of marriage As people grow up, they find themselves attracted to other people
of opposite sex. This happens especially between those that share interests and values. Most likely, they end up in marriage. You will use Activity 2.1 to discover the meaning and purpose of marriage.

Discussing the meaning and purpose of marriage
Activity 2.1
In groups,
1 Brainstorm the meaning of courtship and marriage.
2 Read Genesis 1 and 2:18—23.
3 According to the verses you have just read, give the
purpose for marriage.
4 Identify other reasons why people marry.
5 Write down the main ideas in your notebooks and present
your findings to the class and the teacher.

Biblically, marriage is a union between a man and a woman as husband and wife. It is a lifelong relationship till death separates the couple. The couple agrees to stay together, to love, comfort and support each other as they move on in life. Marriage is the beginning of a family.

Marriage is willed by God. He created man and woman (Gen
1 :27) and made them to live together in the Garden of Eden. Before God made a woman (Eve), man (Adam) was so lonely although there were other creatures with him. In Genesis 2:18—
23, God created a woman as a suitable companion and helper to a man. Marriage is, therefore, for mutual love, comfort and support and companionship. In marriage, couples enjoy sexual satisfaction and get children along the way. This helps them to raise a family and to expand their family lineages and clans.
Couples complement each other in whatever responsibilities and carriers they have in life. Some people marry for social, economic and political reasons and others as a remedy to sexual immorality

Types of marriage You have studied and understood marriage as a union between a man and a woman as husband and wife. You have also discovered that Marriage is God’s will for mutual love, comfort, support and companionship. You have seen people getting married in Church. But do you know that there are other ways people get married?

In this section, you will be introduced to forms of marriage in Uganda. You will discover their characteristics and values by
working through Activity 2.2.

Reading the story and performing the tasks that Activity 2.2 follow
In groups,
Read the story and perform the tasks that follow: Three marriages in a single week My Auntie Catarina usually spends her weekends at our home. We talk about many things. One day, she told me how her two
friends and her got married in one week. She told me that she husband wedded in Church. They were joined together by a priest in Church. After Church, they held a party and hosted
Church people, relatives and friends. On that same day, her close friend Matrida and her husband
exchanged their vows at the District administrator’s office. They then registered with the registrar of marriages as husband and wife.
From the registrar’s office, they had a dinner with a few friends and close relatives of their two families. Auntie told me that two days after Matrida’s wedding, her other friend Martina wedded traditionally. Her marriage was witnessed by her parents and the parents of the husband, the elders and the community.

Tasks
1 Identify the types of marriages mentioned in the above
story.
2 How different are the forms of marriage in the story?
3 Which of the above types of marriage is commonly
practiced in your community?
4 Share with your class if you have ever attended any of the
marriage celebrations in the story above.

From the story, you have learnt that marriage is officiated in different forms. You will now attempt Activity 2.3 to discover more about marriage types and their characteristics.

In groups,
1 Study the pictures in Figure 2.1 and identify each of the types of marriage indicated.
2 Write down which people go for each type of marriage.
3 Which of the marriages do you prefer and why?
4 Mention the benefits of each type of them.

From the activities you have just accomplished. You have discovered that the most recognised forms of marriage in Uganda are; religious marriage, customary marriage and civil marriage. Moslems also go to Mosque to be joined in marriage by Muslim religious leaders. Religious marriages are officiated by religious leaders. Civil marriages are officiated by government officials while traditional marriages are officiated by traditional leaders. Each one of them has its own benefits. They are all recognised and are meant to be the beginning of a stable family.

Marriage as a custodian of love and honesty You have discussed and understood the forms of marriage
commonly recognized in your communities. In this section, you will learn about how marriage is an upholder of love and honesty. Reading the story that follows will help you to understand and discover how love and honesty are nurtured in marriage.

Reading the story and discussing love and Activity 2.4
hones Peru and Ponny were good friends. They were both God fearing and committed Christians. Soon, they agreed to marry. They wedded in a Catholic Church and said the following vows; “l Peru/Ponny take you, Ponny/Peru to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and bad, in sickness
and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.” After their marriage, they started staying together as husband and wife. Their marriage has now lasted for seven years. They are still happy and committed to their marriage. Although they have always faced challenges as a couple, they
have remained honest and faithful in love. They are truthful to each other. They make decisions together. Peru takes care of Ponny and the children. Their marriage is full of respect and honour for each other.

Tasks
In pairs,
1 Give examples that show love and honesty in the story.
2 Share opinions on what has helped Peru and Ponny to remain honest in their marriage.
3 Share opinions on how marriage is a custodian or a guardian of love and honesty.
4 Give other indicators of love and honesty in a marriage.
5 Describe situations that happen to marriages in the absence of love and honesty.

From the story about Peru and Ponny, you have understood how the institution of marriage is a custodian of love and honesty. You will now read some Bible scriptures to get more understanding
about it.

The given scriptures can help you to appreciate that Marriage is a great institution. The Bible holds marriage with high regard. Because it is where people are exposed to the values of love,
honesty, care, generosity, harmony, humility among others. A marriage may not stand if it is not built on such values. In Genesis 2:18, Adam was lonely because there was no creature like him who could show him love. There was no creature he could trust and confide in. So, God brought Eve to him and this
made him so happy. According to Deuteronomy 24:5, the newly married were given time to be together to cement their relationship further and to build trust and confidence in each other. Marriage was highly protected in Israel against which adultery and divorce were discouraged. This shows that honesty is a necessary value in every marriage.

Meaning and importance of courtship You have now learnt that it is in marriage where values of love
and honesty can be nurtured. You have also come to know that when such values are missing in a marriage, it may not stand. Do you think it is right to just enter into marriage without the partners
getting to know each other? In this section, you will be introduced to the idea of courtship. You will know more about courtship as you read the story that follows.

Reading the story and describing the importance Activity 2.6 of courtship
In groups, read the story and perform the tasks that follow: Boleto and Kapetu My sister Boleto is married to Kapetu. They have been together for five years. Before they got married, they got time to
understand each other. They got to know their interests, likes, families, and clans. They also got to know their health status, their faith and careers. They got to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. They got time to pray about their relationship. They also helped each other to draw and agree on their future plans. By the time they told their parents about their intentions to marry, they were comfortable with each other’s qualities. Their parents also supported them. Boleto and Kapetu had sample time for courting. That is why their marriage is stable.
Tasks

1 From the story, explain the importance of courtship.
2 In your opinion, what do you think is the right time for
courtship? Explain.
3 Identify activities recommended for a Christian during
courtship.
4 Identify activities not recommended for a Christian during
courtship.
5 What do you think are the dangers of courtship?
6 Write a letter to your friend who is in a rush to marry
advising him/her to spend some time in courtship.

You have ably discussed about courtship. Read the text below to get more information on courtship. Courtship may be the friendship between a young man and young lady who are mutually attracted to each other and are intending to get married. Many young people meet in places and they get
attracted to each other. It is advisable that they should first undergo a period of courtship before they rush to settle for marriage. Courtship should not be confused with teenage relationships.
Courtship is between people who have reached a marriage age. The time they spend in courtship helps them to know each other. It helps them to discover important issues of health status, faith, culture, tribe, origin, interest, among others. It also gives them sample time to pray and inquire from God about their intentions. Marriage is an important decision of life. Christians should do it with a lot of care, prayer, and patience. This is because it is a lifelong commitment.

Problems associated with absence of courtship before marriage You have discovered that courtship is the period of time when a young man and young lady of the right age have a relationship with each other before they get married. You now know that this period is very important before one makes an important decision in life.
In this section, you are going to discover the problems that might be associated with having no courtship before marriage. The story that follows may help you to understand more the depth of the problem.

Activity 2.7
Reading the story and discussing courtship
In groups, read the story and perform the tasks that follow: Mwafuna had spent a lot of time in London. He came back to Uganda after he had made a lot of money. Every girl wished to have him as a husband. He proposed to Mbuse for marriage. Mbuse accepted immediately. Mbuse did not pray about it
because Mwafuna looked serious and committed. When they approached the parents of Mbuse, they accepted without questioning. They had heard that the young man was from
London. Mbuse’s parents were given many gifts. That is how they married off their daughter. After a short time, Mbuse found out that she was the sixth wife and that Mwafuna was HIV positive.
Mwafuna had lost four wives to the virus. The couple got a lot of misunderstandings and soon they separated. Mbuse came back to her parent’s place but she was already pregnant and
HIV positive.
Tasks
1 What problems did Mbuse get because of not taking time in courtship?
2 Identify other problems associated with lack of courtship not mentioned in the story.
3 Why do you think most young couples today avoid courtship?
4 What advice do you give to young people who are planning to get married?

Having read and discussed Mbuse’s experiences, you have now understood why young people are advised to take some time to understand the kind of marriage partners they are going to marry. It is also important that they pray before they make marriage decisions. It is better to prevent than to cure. Some situations might be irreversible. There are many separation cases in the modern society just because they just rush into marriage before they get to know each other. The value of preparing for marriage Courtship is essential if someone is to have a successful marriage. You have discovered the problems that might arise in case there is no time for courtship. Do you know that on top of courtship, there is need to prepare for marriage? Do people in your community prepare for marriage? In this section, you will discover the value of preparing for marriage, and how people of the Bible prepared for marriage.

Activity 2.8
Reading the Bible and discussing the value of preparation

In Genesis 24, Elazar found a wife for Isaac.
In groups,
Read the Bible passage to answer the questions that
‘Abraham was now very old, and the LORD had blessed him in everything he did. 2He said to his oldest servant, who was in charge of all that he had, Place your hand between my thighs and make a vow. 31 want you to make a vow in the name of the LORD, the God of heaven and earth that you will not choose a wife for my son from the people here in Canaan. 4You must go back to the country where I was born and get a wife for my son Isaac from among my relatives.” 10The servant, who was in charge of Abraham’s property, took ten of his master’s camels and went to the city where Nahor had lived in northern Mesopotamia. “When he arrived; he made the camels kneel down at the well outside the city. It was late afternoon, the time when women came out to get water, 12He prayed, “LORD, God of my master Abraham, give me and keep your promise to my master.m 13Here I am at the well where the young women of the city will be coming to get water. ’41 will say to one of them, ‘Please, lower your jar and let me have a drink. ‘ If she says, ‘Drink, and I will also bring water for your camels, ‘ may she be the one that
you have chosen for your servant Isaac. If this happens. I will know that you have kept your promise to my master.” 15Before he had finished praying, Rebecca arrived with a water jar on
her Shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel, who was the son of Abraham’s brother Nahor and his wife Milcah. ‘6She was a very beautiful young woman and still a virgin. She went down to the well, filled her jar, and came back.

17The servant ran to meet her and said, “Please give me a drink of water from your jar.” 18She said, “Drink, sir,” and quickly lowered her jar from her shoulder and held it while he drank. 19When he had finished, she said, “l will also bring water for your camels and let them have all they want.” She quickly emptied her jar into the animals’ drinking-trough and ran to the well to get more water, until she had watered all his camels. 21The man kept watching her in silence, to see if the LORD had given him success. 22When she had finished, the man took an expensive gold ring and put it in her nose and
put two large gold bracelets on her arms. 23He said, “Please tell me who your father is. Is there room in his house for my men and me to spend the night?” 24″My father is Bethuel son of
Nahor and Milcah,” she answered. 2S”There is plenty of straw and fodder at our house, and there is a place for you to stay.” 26Then the man knelt down and worshipped the LORD. said, “Praise the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has faithfully kept his promise to my master. The LORD has led me straight to my master’s relatives.” 28The young woman ran to her mother’s house and told the whole story. 29Now Rebecca had a brother named Laban, and he ran outside to go to the
well where Abraham’s servant was. 31and said, “…. I have a room ready for you in my house, and there is a place for your camels.” ESO the man went into the house, and Laban unloaded the camels and gave them straw and fodder. Then he brought water for Abraham’s servant and his men to
wash their feet. food was brought, the man said, “l will not eat until I have said what I have to say,” Laban said, “Go on and speak ” 34″1 am the servant of Abraham,” he began…. 37My master made me promise with a vow to obey his command. He said, ‘Do not choose a wife for my son from the young women
in the land of Canaan. 381nstead, go to my father’s people, to my relatives, and choose a wife for him.’ .The LORD, whom I have always obeyed, will send his angel with you and
sccess.

You will get for my son a wife from my own people, from my father’s family…. 42″When I came to the well today, I prayed, 4SBefore I had finished my silent prayer, Rebecca came with a water jar on her shoulder and went down to the well to get water. I said to her, ‘Please give me a drink.’ 46She quickly lowered her jar from her shoulder and said, ‘Drink, and I will also water your camels.’ So, I drank, and she watered the
camels. 471 asked her, ‘Who is your father?’ And she answered, My father is Bethuel son of Nahor and Milcah.’ Then I put the ring in her nose and the bracelets on her arms. 481 knelt
down and worshipped the LORD. I praised the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who had led me straight to my
master’s relative, where I found his daughter for my master’s son. 49Now, if you intend to fulfil your responsibility towards my master and treat him fairly, please tell me; if not, say so,
and I will decide what to do.” SOLaban and Bethuel answered, Since this matter comes from the LORD, it is not for us to make a decision. 5tHere is Rebecca; take her and go. Let her become the wife of your master’s son, as the LORD himself has said.” *When the servant of Abraham heard this, he
bowed down and worshipped the LORD. 53Then he brought out clothing and silver and gold jewellery, and gave them to Rebecca. He also gave expensive gifts to her brother and to her mother. 54Then Abraham’s servant and the men with him ate and drank, and spent the night there. When they got up in
the morning, he said, “Let me go back to my master.” 57They answered, “Let’s her and find out what she has to say.” SBSo they called Rebecca and 59so they let Rebecca and her old family servant go with Abraham’s servant and his men. •nd they gave Rebecca their blessing in these words: “May you,
sister, become the mother of millions. May your descendants conquer the cities of their enemies!” 6’Then Rebecca and her young women got ready and mounted the camels to go with
Abraham’s servant, and they all started out. 621saac had come into the wilderness of “The Well of the Living
One who Sees Me” and was staying in the southern part of Canaan. 63He went out in the early evening to take a walk in the fields and saw camels coming. 64When Rebecca saw Isaac, she got down from her camel 65and asked Abraham’s servant, ‘Who
is that man walking towards us in the field?” “He is my master,” the servant answered. So, she took her scarf and covered her face. 66The servant told Isaac everything he had done. 67Then
Isaac brought Rebecca into the tent that his mother Sarah had lived in, and she became his wife. Isaac loved Rebecca, and so he was comforted for the loss of his mother.
Tasks
1 How did Abraham prepare for his son’s marriage?
2 What role did Eleazar play in preparing for Isaac’s marriage?
3 What lessons do you learn from the passage above?
4 Write a summary of the passage in less than 100 words.
5 What are the advantages of preparing for marriage?
6 Identify the challenges of an unprepared marriage.
7 Share how people prepare for marriage in your community.

As discussed in the previous sections, it is better to prepare for marriage. It is also very good if family members assist in preparation. Abraham knew the kind of wife that was suitable for his son. He even prayed about it and God granted his prayers. Christians should involve God in their marriageprogrammes. God is the author of marriage. Likewise, in the modern society, these marriage preparations are vital. They help the people intending to marry to know and understand each other. This helps them to plan together and also their families. This also helps them to avoid problems like diseases, bad habits, incest and many others. During courtship, the lessons and counselling people get to help them to stand in their marriages later.

The value of unity in marriage In the earlier section, you discovered that marriage is a custodian
of the values of love and honesty. But do you think a marriage can move on well if the couple is disunited? In this section, you will discover the value of unity in marriage as
you read some of the Bible verses that follow.

Reading the Bible and discussing the value of Activity 2.9 unit in marriage
In Genesis 2:18—25, God created Adam and Eve. They became the first marriage on the earth.
In groups,
Read the Bible passage and perform the tasks that follow:
18Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him ” ISSO he took some soil from the ground and formed all the animals
and all the birds. Then he brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and that is how they all got their names. 20So the man named all the birds and all the animals; but not one of them was a

suitable companion to help him. 21 Then the LORD God made the man fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the flesh. 22He formed a woman out of the rib and brought her to him. 23Then the man said, “At last, here is one of my own kind Bone taken from my bone, and flesh from my flesh. ‘Woman’ is her name because she was taken out of man.” 24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one. 25The man and the woman were both naked, but they were not embarrassed.

Tasks
1 Brainstorm on the meaning of unity.
2 From the above passage, identify the elements of unity in
marriage.
3 Mention the indicators of unity and disunity in a marriage.
4 Identify the causes of unity and disunity in marriages today.
5 Why do you think unity is of great value in marriage?
6 Suggest ways that can bring unity in a marriage.
7 Present your findings in word document or written form to
your teacher and class.

You have read and discussed the Bible passage about unity in marriage, you will now read the passage below to understand more on the value of unity in a marriage.

Unity means togetherness or oneness. It is very important for married people to be united. In the Bible, it is written that a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and the two become one. It is more than a physical union but also mutual understanding. Unity involves sharing thoughts, plans, decisions, praying together, communicating properly, respecting each other, agreeing, among others. A marriage institution cannot survive when members are not united. Unity in marriage involves both
the husband and wife’s performance of their duties and roles

satisfactorily. It involves having a common agreement over most of their issues. Unless the couple is united, any problem can lead to frustration and eventually separation. Unity in marriage does not mean that they will not have differences. But when challenges come, they resolve them immediately and amicably and they move on

In the previous sub-chapter, you studied the purpose and importance of marriage. You also discovered the value of courtship, preparation and unity in marriage. In this section, you will be introduced to the importance of children in marriage and in the entire society. You will also discover the
right time for pregnancy for one to become a good parent.

The importance of children in marriage Among the reasons why God instituted marriage was to multiply,
fill and subdue the world. The only way for the marrieds to multiply is by producing children. You will work through Activity 2.11 to discuss the reasons why children are important in marriage and you will use Figure 2.2 to aid your discussion.

In groups,
1 Observe the images a and b in Figure 2.2 and tell what you think is happening in each of the marriages. 2 How are the two pictures different from the other? Share ideas of how important you are to your family. 3 Explain the importance of having children in marriage.

4 Note down your findings and share with other groups and teacher. Children are very important in marriage. It is a joy for a couple when they get a child born in their marriage. It is a sign of a
blessing. The arrival of children gives them some assurance of permanence in a marriage. It is also a sign of expansion and continuity of family lineages. When children grow, they assist their parents in one way or the other and they also become important to the society. Children are not only important in the marriage where they are raised, but also to the society at large.

The value of children in marriage in the Bible In the previous activity, you discussed and came up with the
importance of children in marriage. You also discovered that children do not only benefit their parents but they become important to the society when they grow. In this section, you will read Bible verses to understand more the value of children in

In groups,
1 Read Genesis 1 :28, 21 :1—7 and I Samuel 1:8.
2 Identify the value of children from the scriptures you have
read in 1 above.
3 Describe the mood of
(i) Sarah in Genesis 21:6-7
(ii) Hannah in 1 Samuel 1:8.
Write your findings and present them to your teacher and
the rest of the class.

According to the Bible verses you have just read, the birth of a child brought joy, laughter, singing and praises to God in Sarah and Abraham and also in Hannah and Elkanah’s families. Children are a gift from God to the married couple. It is the wish of every marriage to have children. Bearing children is the only
way humans can multiply to subdue the earth and everything that is in it according to God’s promises.
You have read the Bible and have discovered how valuable children are in a marriage. You will now perform another activity to understand more.

In pairs,
1 Describe the mood of the couple in the picture.
2 What could be the cause of that mood?
3 What benefits do you think the arrival of the baby brings to
such a family?
4 Share your findings with other groups.

According to the discussion you have just finished, it is evident that the birth of children is the joy to the marriage. Children are a gift from God to the married. It is a sign of blessings. Children
are a sign of fertility among the married couple. Children in a way help in cementing a marriage relationship. After getting children, couples begin to work hard and invest together and they find it
hard to just separate without a serious problem. Keeping a childless marriage happy Most couples desire children as a result of marriage, they are very expectant to bear children. Some married couples don’t get
children immediately. Some get children after some time while others remain childless for life.

In this section, you will discuss to come up with suggestions of how a childless marriage can remain happy. You will work through
Activitv 2.14 to achieve this.

Reading the story and performing the tasks that ivity 2.14
follow
In groups, read the story and perform the tasks that follow: Manoa and Menon Manoa and Menon had been married for ten years without getting a child. Their feeling about the situation was really bad.
Their neighbours Martha and Moton had been married for twenty-five years. They had no biological child. But they were happy and not complaining to God. Many people despised Manoa and Menon for being childless. They advised Menon to marry another wife. But he told them he loves his wife and didn’t want to hurt her. Menon assured Manoa that as long as they trust God, they will be rewarded one day. Prayer and believing kept a smile on their faces. In their twelfth year of waiting in patience and prayer, they got a set of twins, a boy and a girl. These children made them happy. They treated them like their

Tasks
1 Have you ever seen a marriage where the couple doesn’t have any biological child?
2 Share their feelings about the situation.
3 What lessons do you learn from the story above?
4 Write an article or a word document suggesting ways of keeping a childless marriage happy.
5 Present it to your teacher and class for discussion.

From the story you have just read, you can testify that childless marriages can actually survive especially when a marriage is built on true love. It is a big problem for those who are not strong Christians. In Luke 2, the Bible talks of Zechariah and Elizabeth. They were old, childless, and happy in their marriage. Prayer,
love, trust in God and avoiding to blame each other can keep a childless marriage happy. If a couple can afford, they can adopt

children as they are waiting on the biological ones. There are many things that can keep a childless marriage happy but the most important is not to neglect their marital duties as husbands
and wives. Their marriage responsibilities need to be performed satisfactorily. This gives marital comfort and reduces temptations. They can remain happy if they determine to seek peace and avoid blaming each other for childlessness. Respecting and loving each other can make them happy. Childless marriages can keep happy if they give each other company, care and attention. The right time for pregnancy
You have just discussed the value of children in marriage. You have also discovered that actually there are childless marriages
whose pain cannot be comforted. But did you realize that the number of abandoned babies is increasing in your area? Did you know that cases of abortion have also gone high among teenagers? It is possible, they get pregnant when they are not ready. In this section, you are going to find out the right time for one to be pregnant so as to become a good parent. You will work through Activity 2.15 to accomplish this. You can use Figure 2.4 to aid in your discussion.

Activity 2.15
Reading the dialogue and performing the tasks
that follow
Renny and Jossy are Senior Two classmates who are planning to leave school because of their parents’ financial difficulties.
In pairs, read their dialogue and perform the tasks that
follow:
renny :what is your plan now since you will not continue with school?
jossy renny I think I will accept Musa’s offer so that I can
do business.
renny Musa! Business! How will you pay him back?
jossy I don’t need to pay him back. He asked me to have
a child with him.

renny What! A child! That’s scaring!! You can’t do that. You
are just 14. What about the problems that come
with early pregnancy? You can even lose your life!
jossy But what do you want me to do! I don’t want to lose
this chance.
Jossy, let’s learn hair braiding. It takes a short time
and it’s cheap. I will sponsor you.
jossy Oh! Thank you so much Renny. What would I have
done without you!
renny It’s alright Jossy, but promise me to abandon
Musa’s idea. Wait for the right time to think about
pregnancy and getting babies. Value your body, it
is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
jossy So, what is the right time, Renny?
Renny The right time to become pregnant is when you are
an adult and when you are married.
Jossy Thank you so much for your advice. I will advise my
other friends too.

Tasks
1 In your opinion, what do you think is the right time to become pregnant and to bear children?
2 What is the wrong time to become pregnant? What are the effects of getting pregnant at the wrong time?
3 What are the causes of early pregnancies today?
4 Write an article or word document advising the young people about the right time to become pregnant. Explain to them the dangers associated with early pregnancy. Advise
them on the Christian ways they can avoid pregnancy until
marriage.
5 Share your work with other groups and your teacher

Young Christians need to be educated about the right time to become pregnant. They should be able to know that parenting is a responsibility which they can only manage as adults and when they are married. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and they carry value. They should, therefore, not be used for money or for survival. Young people, therefore, need to be helped to avoid sexual temptations that can lead them into early pregnancy and the related challenges. Above all, sex before marriage is a sin and does not please God. Becoming pregnant when one is young and worse still when she is schooling is very undesirable and dangerous. Girls suffer when giving birth as their bodies are not yet well developed for
that. Others drop out of school and others are chased out of their homes by angry parents. Early pregnancies might come along with losing a career, family, self-esteem and at times life due to birth complications or sexual transmitted diseases, or abortion or suicide. Early pregnancies cause young girls to suffer raising a family most especially when they are forced to marry. Early pregnancy brings shame to the family of the girl and more so if it is a Christian family. Young Christians need to abstain
until marriage when they can give birth and become able and responsible parents.

Christian teaching about marriage

In the previous sub-chapter, you learnt and understood the importance and value of children in marriage and in society In this sub-chapter, you will study what the Bible teaches on marriage. These Biblical teachings will help you to understand the good values recommended in marriage. You will compare Christian marriages with traditional marriages to analyze and pick out the good values of traditional Africa and discard the undesirable ones.
The values of lover patience and forgiveness
You discovered that marriage is a custodian of values of love and honesty. In this section, you are going to discover how the values of love, patience and forgiveness are valuable in marriage. You will use Bible references to understand more on how such values work in marriage.

Activity 2.16 Reading the Bible passage, discussing an
summa writing about marriage

The following passage contains verses about Hosea’s marriage with Gomer in Hosea 2 and 3.
In Pairs or individually, Read it and perform the tasks that
follow:
Chapter 2: Unfaithful Gomer — Unfaithful Israel
2My children, plead with your mother — though she is no longer a wife to me, and I am no longer her husband. Plead with her to stop her adultery and prostitution. ‘If she does not, I will strip her as naked as she was on the day she was born. I will make her like a dry and barren land, and she will die of thirst. 4-51 will not show mercy to her children; they are the children of a shameless prostitute. She herself said, “I will go to my lovers they give me focus and water, wool and linen, olive oil and wine.” 6So I am going to fence her in with thorn bushes and build a wall to block her way. ‘She will run after her lovers but
will not catch them. She will for them but will not find them. Then she will say, “I am going back to my first husband — I was better off then than I am now.”

8She would never acknowledge that I am the one who gave her the corn, the wine, the olive oil, and all the silver and gold that she used in the worship of Baal. 9So at harvest time I will take back my gifts of corn and wine, and will take away the wool and the linen I gave her for clothing. 101 will strip her naked in front of her lovers, and no one will be able to save her from my 14So I am going to take her into the desert again; power. ….. there I will win her back with words of love. 151 will give back to
her the vineyards she had and make Trouble Valley a door of hope. She will respond to me there as she did when she was young, when she came from Egypt.16Then once again she will
.191srael, I will make you my call me her husband — wife; I will be true and faithful; I will show you constant love and mercy and make you mine forever… ….

Chapter 3
‘The LORD said to me, “Go again and show your love for a woman who is committing adultery with a lover. You must love her just as I still love the people of Israel, even though they turn to other gods and like to take offerings of raisins to idols.” 2So I paid fifteen pieces of silver and 150 kilograms of barley to buy
her. 31 told her that for a long time she would have to wait for me without being a prostitute or committing adultery; and during this time, I would wait for her.
Tasks

1 With reference to the Bible extract, discuss to come up with the meaning of love, patience and forgiveness.
2 What undesirable behaviour did Gomer have?
3 How did Hosea react to Gomer’s unfaithfulness?
4 Identify the values of love, patience and forgiveness in the Biblical passage.
5 What lessons do you learn from Hosea and Gomer’s
marriage?
6 If you were Hosea, write a letter expressing your concerns to save the marriage.
7 Share if you have seen such a marriage in your community. How did it affect the children?
8 Write a summary of what happened to the marriage of
Hosea and Gomer.

At the command of God, Hosea married Gomer who became unfaithful to her husband. Hosea sent her to the desert, where she found troubled life. Later, God told Hosea to reconcile with his wife Gomer and to love her again. Hosea paid approximately 15 pieces of silver and 150kg of barley to get her back. Hosea
forgave Gomer, he was patient with her until their marriage worked out again. The elements of love, patience and forgiveness must be in marriages if they are to have a meaningful life. It took Hosea
a lot of patience to put up with a prostitute and adulterous woman. Because of Hosea’s patience and constant love, he did not marry another wife. He kept himself until his wife came back. Hosea

forgave his wife after all the pain and shame she cause 1m an their children. Christian couples should copy Hosea’s example to love and forgive each other and to be patient with each other so
as to save their marriages. The conduct of husbands and wives according to
1 Peter 3:1-7
You have learnt how the values of love, patience and forgiveness preserved the marriage of Hosea and Gomer. Even today, it has preserved many marriages. In this section, you will discover the expected conduct of partners in marriage. You will read the Bible passages to understand more.

Activity 2.17 Reading the Bible and discussing the conduct of
partners in marriage

The following passage is from 1 Peter 3:1—7. In groups, read it and perform the tasks that follow: lWives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word,
they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment,
such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. 4Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.
They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 61ike Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner
and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers”.
Tasks
1 Are marrieds today still practicing what is taught in 1 Peter
3:1—7? Give reasons for your answer.

2 Write a journal advising married couples on how they
should conduct themselves in marriage basing on 1 Peter
3:1-7.
3 Present your findings in writing or word document to your teacher and other groups. You have worked through the activity, read the text that follows for more understanding.
According to the above teaching, wives must submit to their husbands. They should be of good character showing inward qualities of love, kindness, generosity, humility, gentleness and others than outward qualities of wearing beautiful Jewellery and dresses. Wives are called upon to imitate Sarah the wife of
Abraham. They should be known for their good deeds to their husbands. Husbands should understand their wives as a weaker sex and treat them with respect. They should treat them as equal partakers of the gifts of life. Husbands and wives should treat each other in a way that will not hinder their prayers.
Ways of promoting stability in marriage You have read the teaching from the letter of St Peter. You now
know the recommended conduct or behavior of husbands and wives in a marriage. You will now read about the way of promoting stability in marriage by working through Activity 2.18.

Bible reading and discussing stability in marriage
In groups,

1 Read John 2:1—12.
2 From your study of the above text, in what ways does wedding stabilize marriage?
3 What do you think might befall marriages which are not legalized or done in Church?
4 Apart from wedding, suggest other ways that can make a marriage stable.
5 Your teacher has invited a newlywed couple. Ask them to share how wedding has helped their marriage.
6 Record and write a summary of their sharing.

You have finished discussing what can make a marriage You will now read the text that follow for more understanding. Jesus’ attendance on the wedding at Cana shows that marriages are encouraged by God. Wedding stabilizes most marriages today because it is made under the witness of many people
especially Church leaders. It also comes with a certificate. After wedding, couples become committed. They settle and plan together, acquire property together and have children. Christians are encouraged to wed in Church because it is considered secure and rewarding. Apart from wedding, there are other things that can make a marriage stable. These include, performing all their marital duties satisfactorily and having constant and proper communication among the couple. Also, working together, praying together,
respecting each other, honesty, faithfulness, avoiding rumour and false accusations can make a marriage stable. Some marriages are not stable because of poverty, so working hard and planning
well stabilizes a marriage. Expected Christian behavior in marriage From the previous discussion, you realize that the Bible expects a certain behavior from Christian married couples. In this section, you will be introduced to more of what the Bible expects of Christian marrieds. You will discover more as you work out
Activity 2.19.

From the biblical texts, Christian couples are expected to be faithful to one another and to avoid adultery. The two should fulfill their marital obligations thus not to deny each other their needs. Christian couples are expected to be fair to one another and to reconcile in case of any misunderstanding. Married believers are expected to conduct themselves well towards non-believers, who knows, that their good behavior can cause the non-believers to change. Courtship and marriage in African traditional society
At the beginning of this chapter, you studied about courtship and marriage. You already know the purpose and types of marriage. In this section, you will understand the details of Traditional African courtship and marriage. You will also compare traditional marriages with Christian marriages. Work through Activity 2.20
to achieve this.

Activity 2.20
Researching and discussing courtship and
marriage

1 Do you remember the meaning of courtship and marriage?
Write them down.
2 Use the internet or library books to research on:
o, the ways of courtship and marriage in traditional
Africa.
O the qualities of a good marriage partner in traditional
Africa.
3 Make a report and share it with your teacher and the rest
of the class.

You have researched about courtship and marriage in traditional
Africa. You have known the qualities of a good marriage partner
in the traditional Africa. You will now attempt Activity 2.21 to get
more understanding.

Activity 2. Studying the pictures and performing the tasks
that follow
1 Study Figure 2.5 a, b, c and d.
2 What do you think is happening in each picture?

Figure 2.5
3 Apart from meeting in traditional dances, identify other
ways how courtship was carried out in traditional African
society.
4 Share about the challenges associated with modern
courtship.

You have done a research on courtship activities in traditional Africa. In the next activity, you will read about one of the tribes in Africa. You will discover how they carried out courtship and marriage. This will give you more information about the African traditional marriage to answer the questions that follow.

Reading the passage and the tasks Activity 2.22
that follow
Traditional marriage among the Basoga The Basoga are a Bantu tribe who live in the southeastern part
of Uganda. between Lake Kyoga and the northern shores of Lake Victoria. It is in Busoga that the waters of River Nile start. Politically, is made of Jinja, Kamuli, Iganga, Kaliro, Bugiri and Mayuge districts. The traditional ruler has a title of Kyabazinga, Once a Musoga man identified a girl he wanted to marry. he
would send an advance team of respectable male members of his family or clan. This team would get into contact with the girl’s family, get information about them, so as to avoid incest. The team came with traditional beer and requested to introduce their son and ask for the girl’s hand in marriage. Once the two
families reached an understanding, they would set a date for the official introduction ceremony. After discussing with relatives, the bride’S family informed the groom’s family the gifts to offer through the middle man or “go between.- Then preparations for went ahead. The girls in Busoga preserved their purity and sanctity of their bodies. They kept their virginity until marriage. As the day for the introduction ceremony drew near. the girl would stay in close to her family- The introduction ritual is a way of creating a bond that unites both families. On the big day, the groom and his entourage mainly his family
members, goes to the girl’s parents’ home, with gifts for the girl’s father and mother: (kanzu (tunic) and gomesi (ladies’ cultural dress). They also carried envelopes full of money for the maternal aunties, maternal uncles and paternal uncles and any other gifts as requested. At the girl’s place, the hosting side
controls this session. They ask them specific questions as the visitors answer them carefully. After getting familiar with the visitors, the hosting spokesman gives instructions upon which the issue of bride price can be discussed,

The girl’s senga (paternal auntie) kneels in front of her potential son-in-law, handing him a handkerchief containing some money. The groom adds or doubles this money or exceeds it by at least 10% and then hands it back to the senga. If impressed, senga will say good things about the groom. If the father of the
girl is persuaded, he will endorse the marriage. Nice things about the girl are said. And the father says what life he expects of the girl after marriage. If the cultural conditions are fulfilled, the girl is handed over to her suitor by her trusted brother and bids farewell to her, After negotiations, bride wealth is paid, and the traditional marriage ceremony is considered done. The couple is separated for a while and the girl is taught by her senga on her marital duties. After this, the couple is now free to live together.
Most families end the reception with a party until dawn. The girl’s bride wealth was always saved to pay for her brothers’ bride wealth when it was their turn to pay for someone else’s
daughters.
Traditional weddings were wnducted by an elder who made a mixture of herbs and blessed the Animals were scarified to the ancestors; a cultural dance and songs were done as they
gave gifts to the newlywed couple. In the morning of that day, when the girl was to be picked from
her home. the in-laws would bring a package of things (gifts including paraffin, a funnel, matchbox and a lamp) to the girl’s home. A girl can only leave her parents’ home after that was brought. A pretend fight was staged between the in-laws and the girl’s brothers and nephews. In case the in-laws lost the
fight, they would pay the money to the girl’s family so as to allow the paraffin into the house so that they take the girl. The other way was to r:nme very early in the morning when the brothers of the girl are asleep hence dodge the fight. The bride would be bathed by her paternal aunt or the grandmother. As
the girl moved out of the room, her mother would tie a white cloth around her waist, which was later unwrapped only by her husband in their marital bedroom, Therefore. the bride bids her family farewell and leaves with her new family members who take her to the groom’s home.

In Busoga, children are the most goal for marriage. In case a couple failed to get children, the man had a right to divorce or marry another wife. In Busoga, it was a responsibility of a man to cater for most of the family’s financial needs through fishing and agriculture. Women concentrated much on domestic
chores with the help of their daughters. Divorce was always in favor of men. However, it was only allowed in extreme cases of adultery or barrenness.
In groups,
1 Explain the steps taken in the process of marriage among the Busoga.
2 Why do you think bride wealth was given to the Bride’s family? What were the benefits of bride wealth?
3 In your opinion, what could be the problems associated with bride wealth?
4 the importance of marriage in African Traditional Society.
Identify what you think were the good practices of the traditional African marriage.
5 Identify the undesirable practices in the traditional marriage.
6 Make a research on traditional African marriage in your
tribe.

A comparison between traditional and Christian marriages
You have researched and read about traditional practices of courtship and marriage. You will now compare traditional and Christian marriages. Work through Activity 2.23 to understand
better.

Activity 2.23 Researching and comparing traditional and
Christian marriages

In groups,
1 Research on the internet or library books to identify:
(0 The main features in the traditional marriages.
o The main features in Christian marriages.
2 Mention the bad marriage practices in the modern
marriages today.
3 Give reasons why African marriages of long ago were
more stable than today’s.
4 Identify the differences between Church and traditional
marriages and complete Table 2.3.

In African traditional marriage, a man was superior to a woman. The main purpose of marriage was children production. Virginity was highly valued and rewarded. Traditional marriages were polygamous as long as the man could afford bride wealth. Divorce was rare but was allowed in case of excessive cruelty, witchcraft, excessive alcohol drinking and extreme poverty. African traditional marriages were more of a family affair than a private affair between the couples. The family of the boy got involved in choosing for him a suitable marriage partner. All the arrangements were done by the parents and elders of the two
families. They would get to know more about the family of the girl’s character, her attitude towards work, the family background and moral virtues so as to ensure they are marrying from the right
family. Marriage is an important step in the life of every human on earth. Different cultures have different rituals and beliefs about marriage. Courtship is very important both in traditional and Christian marriages. It can be used successfully for sex education to make their future marriage permanent. During this time, bride wealth can be arranged and paid. It gives chance to both the girl and boy to get used to their family members. The exchange of gifts can strengthen their relationship further.

Sample Activity of Integration
Context
You have a friend called Nakate. She has just completed her Senior Four. She is in a relationship with an old man who has bought her a posh car, and given her a lot of money and gifts. Nakate is planning to escape from home and start staying with the old man immediately.

As a Christian, write an essay advising Nakate about the right
time for getting married. In this chapter, you have learnt that marriage is a union between a mature woman and man as husband and wife who agree to stay together and raise a family. You studied the most recognized marriage types in Uganda as; church, customary and civil marriages. You learnt the reasons for marriage including companionship, complementarity, love, sexual satisfaction, child
production and many others. You learnt that before marriage, there is need for courtship so that the marriage couple gets to know each other to make the right choices and decisions. You learnt about the value of preparing for marriage and also the value of unity in marriage. Other lessons include; the importance of the values of love, honesty, unity, patience and forgiveness in a marriage relationship, the importance of children in a marriage, the right time to become pregnant and be a good parent, dangers of wrong time/early pregnancy and how a childless marriage can remain happy. Again, you learnt about the biblical teaching about marriage and the ways of stabilizing a marriage biblically. Lastly, you learnt about courtship and marriage in traditional Africa in comparison with Christian marriages. You have also been assessed through the sample activity of integration.