Ways we can learn the truth about others

Provide support.Exodus 17:12 says, “When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held up his hands—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset.”We all need help in life, especially when God calls us into tough circumstances. It is important to become a part of a church body, serve in ministry, and make friendships because when times are tough people can always call on you as their own Aaron and Hur—those people willing to lift you up and support you when you are too weak to stand on your own.

Judge, rather than condemn

Have you heard this popular saying? “Who am I to judge?” It sounds nice, but did you know Christians are commanded in Scripture to judge?

1 Corinthians 5:12-13 says, “What business of mine is it to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. Expel the wicked man from among you.”

Much like a judge, we are to discern whether an action is right or wrong based upon Scripture. It is our responsibility to help our friends when they are immersed in sin. Judgment has its place within the church body, but it is not the same as condemnation.

Judgment says, “What you are doing is wrong, what can I do to help you?” Condemnation says, “What you are doing is wrong, and you are a terrible person for doing it.” See the difference?
Be a friend.

“A friend loves at all times,” Proverbs 17:17.

That means in the good times and the bad times. Even when a friend is doing something they shouldn’t be doing, we should still love them. But love doesn’t mean letting someone engage in destructive behaviors.

Make sacrifices when appropriate, like offering to have your friend call you day or night if they need you. Encourage them to attend church regularly. Help them connect with a mature believer who will mentor them into maturity.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near,” Hebrews 10:24-25.
Get educated. Many great Christian resources have been published about replacing lies with truth and how to leave a life of sin. The best thing you can do, in addition to pointing out sin, is researching common reasons underneath sinful behaviors. Someone’s sin points to their need. What lies is this person believing about themselves? Are they harboring unforgiveness against a loved one? Have they been hurt by someone and are now afraid to maintain meaningful relationships?
Offer real accountability.

It’s not enough to point out someone’s sin. It’s equally important to help them stay away from repeating the same sin over and over again. Accountability is a great way to help a person get rid of sin. But accountability is more than listening to someone talk about their sin.

Accountability falls flat when the person confesses and their friend, charged with holding them accountable, simply acknowledges it or worse – says, “It’s ok.” The person needs to know that sin is not ok. Brainstorm practical ways to help the sinner get out (and stay away) from sinful behaviors.
Be firm.

Firmly state what they are doing is not ok. Jesus, after healing the man in John 5, follows him to the Temple. There He says, “Stop sinning, or something worse might happen to you.”

Before he knew Jesus, this man was blind to his sin. But once He became a follower of Christ, he was held to a higher standard. We should also be held to a higher standard. Jesus didn’t let the man continue in his sin, and we can’t allow our brothers and sisters in Christ to continue that way either.
Check in often.

Make it a priority to check in with your friend often. The more time goes by, the more likely we are to forget to help. If you can’t meet in person, text or email. This helps to remind your friend that you care about their plight. A simple message like, “I’m praying for you,” will communicate a message of love to your friend.

Confronting a friend is always tough. It’s messy and at times, and it’s scary because it can go wrong and destroy a friendship. But no matter what the result, if you “speak the truth in love,” rest easy in knowing you are doing the right thing. You may ibnot see reconciliation between you, but you may eventually see repentance and a reconciled relationship with God in heaven, and that’s the best reward of all.

Importance of dialogue

Dialogue is: a form of discussion aimed at fostering mutual insight and common purpose. The process involves listening with empathy, searching for common ground, exploring new ideas and perspectives, and bringing unexamined assumptions into the open.

Long-standing stereotypes can be dissolved, mistrust overcome, and visions shaped and grounded in a shared sense of purpose. People previously at odds with one another can come into alignment on objectives and strategies. New perspectives and insights can be gained, new levels of creativity stimulated, and bonds of community strengthened.

Unlike debate, it doesn’t involve arguing for a point of view, defending a set of assumptions, or critiquing the positions of others. Unlike negotiation or consensus-building, it’s not a method of reaching agreement or arriving at decisions. And unlike discussion, it can only emerge when participants trust and respect each other, suspend their judgments, and listen deeply to all points of view.

The focus is on common interests, not divisive ones
The dialogue and decision-making processes are separated
Assumptions that can lead to distortions of certain points of view are clarified and brought into the open
People are encouraged to reveal their own insights and assumptions before speculating on those of others
Concrete examples are used to raise general issues
The process focuses on conflicts between value systems, not people
When appropriate, participants are encouraged to express emotions accompanying strongly held values
Participants err on the side of including people who disagree
They encourage relationships in order to humanize transactions
They minimize the level of mistrust before pursuing practical objectives

How to overcome obstacles to dialogue

The Magic of Dialogue, written in 1999 by the late social scientist Daniel Yankeolvich suggests numerous effective ways of removing barriers to dialogue and these are:

Starting with different levels of understanding

Dialogue participants often find themselves at different stages in what Yankelovich calls “the judgment curve,” the process of gaining knowledge. Some people in the discussion are just learning about the topic, while others have thought about it for weeks or even months and have resolved the issue for themselves.